I don't generally write in Perl, so in many ways I don't belong here. But I was made aware of this challenge, and since I'm the one guilty of the C++ stuff, I thought I'd introduce myself. Hi there!
Are you sure you want to show that Perl can be an even weirder language than C++ is?
I understand the spirit. I did this in part because I was amazingly bored, and in part because an ex-colleague complained about having inherited code that reminded him of BASIC. The combination of the two made horns grow on my forehead, and they weren't the BSD type.
Well, my best wishes, should you choose to pursue this. My example can no doubt be improved upon.
/Björn
P.S. As a friendly advice, I don't think you should add your achievements in this to your CV. I sure won't put my achievements on mine.