TPF should offer a boilerplate set of community guidelines which perl affiliated projects may elect to adopt.
Beyond that, perhaps a mediation service should be offered to assist in resolving complaints. Projects may then wish to opt-in to the outcome of these resolutions.
This is not the first time this has happened, it is however the first time the perl community didnt pile on to someone. That's something *everyone* should think about.
https://blogs.perl.org/users/lets_code_perl/2019/07/tpf-perl-deserves-better-please-do-better.html
You need to get out of the cubicle or your house and carry some tools for a while. It'll get rid of your fragility and desire to coddle those who run and cry to HR for being called a dumbass when they're objectively being a dumbass.
]]>That's where a lot of people read me wrong. It's not that I hate their breathing guts. It's that I don't care about them enough to give a damn if they take my complete indifference to their entire existence except as it applies to our working together as hostility.
I may not play soft and gentle with anyone's feelings but they always know exactly where they stand with me, because I also don't care enough about them to lie.
]]>Most of the overly fragile people are not in reality overly fragile anyway. They simply hate you and will use the weapon you're giving them every time you fail to slap them down for doing it to others against you.
The choice here is between demanding they act like a grownup who leaves his non-work feelings at home or letting them run everyone who gets things done off. There is not a middle ground, only an inevitable decline if you allow it.
]]>A community is defined by a set of common values and yes, a code of conduct of acceptable behavior. That's been part of human culture since before recorded history.
Every community eventually sets down rules for what is acceptable and what isn't, otherwise it falls apart and is no longer a community.
Some people don't like rules which limit how they behave towards others. Fine. But their behavior is not always welcomed by others in the community, and if the community decides that that conduct is inappropriate, then the community has a right to create rules of conduct.
That's what happens out in the real world.
If you don't like those rules, fine, you can disagree and fight against them, or get them amended, but don't disparage the people who want those rules. They are also part of this community. You don't know their experience or their lives, so any generalizations you make about them are ignorant.
If what you say or do makes me feel uncomfortable, why is it your right to make me feel that way and not my right to expect an environment where I'm not made to feel that way?
That's a real question. No one has unfettered rights. There's always a balance.
There's obviously no clear line you can draw which will make everyone happy, but you have to try and meet the needs of everyone in the community. An equitable society is one where everyone has to compromise to maintain a balance between people's rights, be they the right to express oneself or the right to feel safe.
I want a Perl community which is inclusive and where everyone feels safe.
I don't think that's too much to ask. And if the community needs to adopt rules to make that happen, as long as the rules are reasonable and balance the rights and needs of all of its members, I don't have a problem with that.
]]>Buzzard, Buzzard. If you go around accusing people of not knowing the difference between empathy and sympathy, maybe you should not be making the same mistake. 🙂
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