Why the perl community is no boy's club

First, the reason for this post: There was this answer in the recent survey:
"None - I refuse to acknowledge the term man hours, you patriarchical pig. But I have many person-hours. And let me tell you..."

You can discuss if this is discriminating feminists or not. It's a matter of perception, if you know the author or not. It seems that there are people who find this offensive. And I also think that it shouldn't be on a perlmonks poll, while in a group of friends it might be funny.

Like it was said, this single joke is not a big deal, but if you have to see or listen to such jokes regularly, it can get quite annoying.

Why is it effectively forbidden to discuss this? You can see from the reactions to this post, that people who complain are discredited.
There was no picture uploaded to twitter or anything like that, just statements that people find this was a bad joke.

I have to repeat this here, the uploading of the pictures from pyCon was a really bad idea; that's not the way to deal with such things, and I am not responsible for this, and this incident gives nobody the right to discredit anyone who complains about sexism - which is actually what the joke does - in my eyes. I know there are radical feminists that do such things like uploading a photo, but it's just not right to generalize and discredit anyone with a simple complaint.

As a result to the complaint we have to read disgusting posts like this. This is insulting in its language and saying that the community is a boy's club, and if women want to enter, they have to expect certain things. (sounds like stoneage, doesn't it?)
And effectively they are forbidden to complain (or otherwise they have to read such disgusting posts).
I linked to this post in my home channel on IRC, and most people agreed that this was not a friendly post - mildly put. But one of the people I actually know from conferences said, he would write the same. And he tried to explain to me that I get it all wrong, and that it's not meant to be a closed boy's club. Still, he said, that he would write a post like this to anyone who takes part in such a discussion.
So, great, it's not a closed boy's club, but we have to accept how it is, and please don''t complain, there are "real" issues out there.
No, I still got it wrong, but he failed to explain it to me how to get it right. It's not my fault!
He says it's not forbidden to complain, but he would reply with such a post to anyone who does. How should I understand this?

Guys, if all the feminists are getting wrong what you write, shouldn't you explain better?

I'm told that I am attention seeking. Look, I'm getting far enough attention. I'm not understanding things wrong on purpose. I would be glad if I didn't have to complain.

The good thing:

The community is not a boy's club.
In fact, on conferences I feel welcome, and I have no problems at all with the big majority of people in forums and on IRC.
I accept that the majority is male. But I don't want to feel like a visitor, and I have a right to say it when I think a joke was bad.
It must be possible to express that without getting insulted like this, and then be told that it wasn't an insult, and I again got it wrong.
Like I said, I found this post disgusting, but I am told that I am the one who provoked. And 7 people upvoted that post. That makes perlmonks look quite bad, I have to say.

If my complaint was provoking, I have no words for this post.

I'm happy with the community most of the time, and I do not like to complain, and I do not like writing this. But if a complaint over a bad joke leads to such insults, I have to.

edit: comments are deactivated. If you want to tell me something, if you agree with me, or if you don't, you'll find out how to reach me. If you want to post another insult, just type it into your editor and then pipe it to /dev/null.

About tinita

user-pic just another perl punk,